It may have come to your attention now that her channel lays barren. Her Facebook page rests in a similar state. The question I've been asked often is "why". Why has Crystal, a role model for plus sized girls and those on a budget alike, seemingly gone off the grid?
It's a rather long story.
May you find it humorous to not, I believe we can agree on some level that this not the kind of video we want newer Lolitas or their parents, for that matter, looking at. I can see the looks on parent's faces now, cringing at the thought that their daughter is into age play and wants to wear "milky tits".
It sends the wrong message.
Yes, those more experienced with the fashion will know it's all a big joke, but how about that stranger that asked you the other day what you were wearing? You told them it was called Lolita fashion right? What if they saw this video and thought this was what you were all about?
Being the Lolita I am, concerned for the well being of new girls and old alike, when Crystal proposed that we both comment on the video, requesting that the title be changed to better reflect the content, I immediately began drafting. Within minutes of posting, I received the most thought provoking response from the video's author. A single, beautiful "lol". Brilliant.
Let me take a moment, though, to thank kingponk for that lovely description of me. Yes, let me go read the gospels of a Modest Proposal and preach the truth that we should eat small impoverished children. I mean, it came from the quill of a priest, so it must be serious, right?
As I've advised in my video regarding behind the bows, it's best to ignore comments like these or brush them off. Their thoughts can not and will not hurt you unless you consent them to. Crystal is unlike me when it comes to dealing with these sorts of responses, so when she received harsher words, she not only took their words to heart, but as truth.
There are a few things which I would like to dismantle in their argument before moving further with the story. The first here being the idea that you can not come up in the world and you're stuck in the economic position you were born in. This is full on garbage. In this day in age, children born into poverty can and have risen above the ashes and created beautiful things. Here in America, we don't do a lot of things right, but at least a PoC raised by a single parent struggling to make ends meet can grow up with the ability to rise to presidency. It's not the economic place you're born in that defines you, it's where you go despite the difficulty. Maybe Crystal comes from a less fortunate family than yours, but with her kindness and patience, I am certain she will succeed at being a wonderful teacher.
TheWild Doge seemingly believes that there is only one body type for Lolita fashion- theirs. I'm not sorry to burst their bubble. People come in all shapes and sizes and they are all beautiful. It is no one's place to tell someone that they need to change themselves to fit their own closed minded believe on how the human form should manifest itself. I've noticed this as a trend among a lot of girls in Lolita fashion. They believe that you have to be thin to fit the mold, when this simply isn't the case.I consider myself to be rather thin, weighting only 95lbs, and being petite built. Some may say this is the typical form Lolita brands like Angelic Pretty and Baby make their clothing for, but let me tell you, I own Promenade de Paris and that dress is too big for me. Same goes for Merry Making in the Ghost Town and Pop Love. I've found this to be the case with a few other Lolitas that are around my size.
With that said, there are many brands that have begun making dresses in larger sizes or with the option of custom sizing. A few of my favorites are Infanta, Magic Tea Party, Pumpkin Cat, and Chess Story. If you are in the party that large popular brands haven't jumped on this band wagon, Metamorphose is known for their larger size friendly clothing.
Also, your idea of beauty isn't everyone else's. Consider that before you call someone ugly or a pig.
When it comes to the items in other people's wardrobes, it is honestly none of your business. If someone decides to purchase a replica, you have no place to tell them that they can't. I'm sorry you value yourself so highly, but people get to make their own choices.
At the same time, you need to choose for yourself not to watch videos you find unpleasant. If you found Crystal's videos to be long and an all around bore, you shouldn't watch. Personally, I enjoyed her videos for their calm relaxed tone. It was very informal, but that's what made me enjoy her channel so much. There are so many YouTubers who fake it and Crystal's "this is me and this is what I think" attitude is what inspired me into making the Lolita Problems and How do Lolita series I do today. Take charge of your own media consumption. If you don't enjoy something, close the tab.
I believe what TheWild Doge means by "learn to fucking Japan" is that Crystal should learn Japanese. It would be rather difficult to learn the entirety of everything Japan, and for someone who is so critical of others, they really should check their grammar.
Their point here was that Crystal should remove the -chan from her username due to it being perceived as rude and cultural appropriation. I'm not a fan of honorific suffixes either, but I stand by the belief that if you want your point to come across, you'll need to speak intelligently. And no, bashing someone for their economic class, body type, and general appearance is not the mature way to go. Maybe if TheWild Doge attempted to be respectful towards another human being, Crystal would have changed her username. But by all means, continue to insult others to get your way.
I'm going to group number six and eight together here since TheWild Doge seems to care an awful lot about other people's hygiene. I believe the rule, you can't tell other people what to do, applies here yet again. Someone can have yellow teeth for multiple reasons, may it be a fault in the camera lighting or a dental issue. I actually have a tooth that's permanently discolored due to it growing in without enamel. It's no one's fault, it just grew in that way. Unless you're a dentist, I suggest you stay out of other people's dental health.
Regarding number seven, I don't think TheWild Doge understands that one does not simply acquire better coords and again, just because you don't like something, doesn't mean other people feel the same way.
I'm not even going to spend time explaining what's wrong with number nine. I'm sure you can smell the immaturity.
Lastly, I've said many a time before, ita is not an adjective used to describe people. Shortened from the word itai, ita means physically painful or sore, as in someone hit you over the head with a brick and now your head hurts. No one person can be ita. It's a term used to describe objects which may physically harm you. If you're so insistent that someone learn Japanese, I suggest you look into yourself before you misuse ita again.
As I said before, Crystal took these words to heart, wounding her terribly. I think, part of the reason why this comment hurt so much was because only a little while ago she had been bullied online and off by a local Lolita community. This time, she put her foot down and set out to remove herself from the situation. First it was her just not responding to the comment, but later she decided to delete her videos and remove herself from YouTube all together.
It would be dishonest of me to say it didn't make me upset to hear the news. I was hoping for her to power through, but it's unreasonable for me to put that expectation on her. When I asked her a few weeks after the incident, she said that she didn't want to put herself out there like that anymore- that she wasn't that into YouTube in the first place. She said, she didn't see a point to doing it anymore if she was just going to get comments like this, especially since they're regarding things she can't help.
For a while now, since she's gotten rid of her videos, I've been feeling sad, like I should have stopped the person right from the first comment. But I didn't do anything, I thought it was under control and I failed her as a friend.
It seems as though TheWild Doge and those that hold the same beliefs as them have won. They're holding their victory party on Behind the Bows and CGL, threatening those which don't fit the mold they have devised that this is what happens to you if you try to be a Lolita.
It makes me feel filthy.
This is the exact problem I discussed in my video Everything Wrong with the Lolita Community. You can find it below for you viewing pleasure.
The bullying problem is real and thriving. As a community we need to step up and tell attackers that this isn't acceptable behavior. Accusations tossed at victims like Crystal hold no ground nor do they have anything to do with someone's ability to wear a petticoat. If we stand together, fighting against those that believe Lolita fashion isn't for plus sized, PoC, abled men, women, and those which are nonbinary, we can truly make a difference and turn this community around for the better.
Though, Crystal may be done with YouTube, she has a few things left to say:
"Each person will have their own limits on what they can take before it gets [to be] too much. People who call me pathetic are practically calling others, who would break down [and] be in a lot worse case than myself, that as well. You see too many young people getting bullied over the net and cutting or being suicidal. To call that pathetic, to get yourself out of a situation [...] before it gets worse, is just so sad. Take care of your physical and emotional health first."Crystal, I couldn't have said it any better myself. To go on record, I still believe you are a wonderful role model. Keep calm and coord on!
